December 09, 2002

Some thoughts on bi-, mono-, homo-, hetero-, a- sexualities

What follows is speculation; I am doing the writing equivalent of daydreaming aloud. My purpose is to promote thinking and examination of the issues involved. What I aspire to is communication with others who may also want to ponder these matters. If the subject interests you please tell me the areas in which you think I'm right � if any � and the areas in which you think I'm wrong, and why in both cases. Wouldn�t it be wonderful if we got a little closer to understanding and insight? I believe we have to stir the cauldron lest our thinking stick to the bottom and burn.

My speculations don�t intend to change anybody's sexuality but the approach we take to the subject. And the horrendous discrimination inflicted on humans with sexualities different from the accepted standard.

I remember reading years ago in the late lamented "woman of power: a magazine of feminism, spirituality and politics" (sic, all lower case, in the style adopted by some feminist writers, like bell hooks and others) a quotation by someone (quoting from memory; my almost complete collection of the magazine is still buried in the boxes in which it came from New York) to the effect that as long as the anatomical part touching her was loving she wasn�t much concerned about the sex of the body to which said part belonged. That impressed me and got me to thinking that indeed only a patriarchal system bent on reproduction or breeding could possibly claim that there is anything preferable or desirable or "normal" or "healthy" about sex between two humans of different sex. Even humans of different sex sometimes engage in sexual or sensual activities different from copulation with no thought given to reproduction. Sometimes special measures are even taken to prevent � hopefully, or at least reduce the probability � of conception and birth, so all claims to the reproductive connection have to be abandoned. Also, technology has enabled humans to reproduce without any sexual contact by in vitro fertilization, artificial insemination and a number of other techniques worthy of Dr. Moreau's island.

The extent of the connection between sex and reproduction is one of those big lies that many of us have taken for granted, at least during part of our lives, until we start questioning: wait a minute, does the Emperor have any clothes?

Perhaps at one point in the history of the species and of individuals there was no distinction between sensuality and sexuality. Even after some distinction developed � or was manufactured, or imprinted through brainwashing on individuals � there still remains an occasional blur occasionally between the two.

The patriarchy tries very hard to instill heterosexuality into individuals, but in some cases this effort fails and the individual remains bisexual. Perhaps in some cases some individuals react to the indoctrination by opposing it and in that process lose the ability to relate sexually to individuals of the other sex. In this scenario "normal", "healthy", "standard" sexuality would be bisexual; both homosexuals and heterosexuals � it seems natural to call both "monosexuals" � are individuals who have lost the ability to relate sexually to beings of either the other or the same sex. Perhaps this lost ability might be recovered, if desired, through therapy or other means.

Many of us lack the ability to relate sexually to beings of different species. That is a different ocean � I was going to write "kettle of fish" but realized something bigger was needed � upon which we might try to venture at another time. Small though the inclination in that direction may be among many of us at the present time, let us reflect that the time may not be distant when some contacts will start with non-Earth species, and new issues of sexualities might become current faster than we think.

Anecdotal evidence suggests a correlation between artistic talent and homosexuality, since homosexual people appear to be represented in some professions, like theater, in higher proportion than in the general population. Or maybe it is just that the biographies of famous people tend to be better known so we know whether they are homosexual. Maybe homosexuality is actually a distinction that makes people special. Indeed it is so considered among American Indians and other so-called "primitive" (HA!) groups.

Love is so rare. Wherever it is found it should be nurtured, protected, helped aided and abetted. When one thinks about it what is really unnatural, obscene, sick, perverted is for any kind of love to be thought of as unnatural, obscene, sick or perverted.

I am reflecting that two of the most beautiful love stories I know are of homosexual love: Solitaire and Brahms, a novel by Sarah Dreher and the 1985 movie Desert Hearts. (Don�t believe the user comment by "Tito-8" in the IMDB page; it's a wonderful movie with not one boring moment; read all the other glowing comments).

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